dear new york....

Dear New York,

tonight is the last night i will spend with you.  it's not you, it's me.  can you believe it's been three years, almost to the day, that i landed on your doorstep, a young, unsure, naive 22 year old girl?  my mom came with me, and oh my lord i was so excited to start my adult life.  but when she left, i cried.  i was also so scared.  scared of being on my own, scared of you, scared of being a little girl in a monster of a city.

but now i sit in my little apartment, thinking back on everything that has happened in the last three years, and i'm a changed, changed woman.  no longer a little girl - but a young woman with an unshakable-ness to me that you gave me.  i've seen it all, heard it all, felt it all....i've loved, lost, had the highest highs and the scariest lows (yet refused to let you bring me down, refused to let you, or anything else, beat me).

while here, i found my voice, found my soul, found myself.  you made me, Manhattan.  you're like a tattoo that no one can see yet everyone can feel.   a New York woman born to run you down.  you taught me the only time you can be brave is when you're scared, that letting go is the only way to move forward, and that life is never what you expect.  that my dreams are not what i thought they'd be.  you taught me that if one door closes, you just have to find the next one that's open (if one subway line isn't running, just find the next one that is.  i knew i'd make it home, the journey just might be a little scenic).

i experienced so much.  my first hurricane (hopefully my last, i'll be honest), a very deep, deep love, going to the emergency room by myself and being tough, being blinded by the lights of fashion week and loving every moment of it, being brought to my knees by the grief that blankets this city on each anniversary of 9/11.  i still get goosebumps when i'm coming home from work and see your skyline, and when i walk up my quiet, lovely street in SoHo, i see your Empire State Building, and it takes my breath away every time.

i know you'll always be here, ever changing, ever growing, but still ever the same.  the same cobblestone streets (which nick the leather heels of my Louboutins, but it's okay...i forgive you), the same subway system which is simultaneously disgusting and amazing, the same river path which i so love to run....Lady Liberty cheering me on.  i hope i never lose what you gave me - i hope i remain this tough, headstrong, can take it all and bounce back type of chick...the type who can walk these mean streets with no fear, yet still see the beauty, the softness, the love.

New York, you inspire me to be great.
moments like these 3 years have been the most incredible.
moments like these...never last.

there's no bound to how much i love you.
xx
CB

style file - what i wore + fresh ink + farewell, my beloved home

it is Sunday, June 24th, and this is the last Sunday i will spend as a resident of my beautiful New York City home.  next saturday at 6 pm, i fly out of LGA airport and reconnect to my midwest roots.  it's a mixture of happiness and sadness.  i've learned so much here, become who i am, but i'm also ready to move on to bigger and better.  strange - because most would think...what could be bigger and better than Manhattan?  but perspective and maturity have allowed me to see that there's a lot more out there that i'm destined for... and it's not about where are you.  it's about where you're going.

so my outfits this week have been weird - because i have most of my clothes packed up to move, so really they're not that great. however, i finally did pull the trigger on the tattoo i've been wanting!  Three Kings Tattoo out in Brooklyn (......i know.  right?) did a great job, and it's healing so nicely!  i'm in love with it!

taking my Oscar wedges for their maiden voyage. dress, T by Alexander Wang. shoes, Oscar de la Renta. purse, Proenza Schouler.  ring, Pamela Love.

fresh ink!  

close-up, please excuse the side-cleavage.  it's a scorpion tail,  a rendition of an Elsa Peretti/Tiffany's necklace i used to wear.  i'm a Scorpio, obvi, and i am a Scorpio in every sense the definition. 

for some reason, i've been listening to "Watch the Throne" nonstop this week - i can't get enough.  maybe it's the new "no church in the wild" video..which is amazing...but anyways, i'm really into it.  i listen to a lot of music and i'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's potentially the best album that's been released in the last 5 years.  

ok - this week will be bananas - trying to get everything in one last time.....

bon voyage, New York City!

xx

style file - what i wore! (dancing on my own)

my days in New York are down to twelve.  literally.  12 days until i get on my one-way flight and leave New York as my home.  i booked my flight today.  and i was thinking...what a strange, incredible, unexpected journey it's been.  when i moved here three years ago, i would have never guessed that my path would lead me to where i stand now, but...here i am!

i've been in Indiana for a very brief trip, tying up some loose ends for school, and getting ready to move back, and also fending off a lot of questions like "are you dying that you're moving from New York City to...West Lafayette, IN?!  it's like Amish!"  and i'm like...listen.  Manhattan will always been in me.  i've learned who i am while roaming the streets of this city.  but you can only follow a certain path, especially if it isn't the one you're destined for, for so long.  so no, i'm not dying that i'm leaving the greatest city in the world for a small town in Indiana.  in fact, i'm obsessed with the idea.  what i want is sitting in that lovely small town, and i'm relishing the experience that lies ahead of me.  life is full of unexpected turns...that's something New York taught me....so this next adventure, which will shape the rest of my life, is only the tip of the ice berg.

anyways - i got the most INSANE SHOES this week...

gold nappa leather wedges, Oscar de la Renta.  seriously, no words.

doing a kind of formal thing for an informal brunch.   dress, unknown (i cut the tag out eons ago).

got to take the dogs on a beach walk!!! shorts, lululemon. tank top, Soul-Cycle.

so here's to the next big step, right?!  onwards to engineering graduate school.  (well, first, a few weeks off, enjoying time with my dogs and my family, relaxing before the REAL work begins).  i'm really excited to see how things move along - how out of place will i feel?  will my clothes freak the other grad students out?  will i be the only one in high heels? will i be the only girl (serious questions. this may actually happen)?

i think the best way i can wrap up my time in New York is to quote probably the best show on television right now (Girls, obviously).  "Your dreams are not what you thought they'd be."  when we graduate college, we all have this image of how we think our lives are going to be....we make five year plans, and ten year plans.  the thing is...those plans generally don't work so you have to just let life happen.  your dreams are not what you thought they'd be.  and maybe your true calling is in a small town in Indiana doing air transportation research.  and you just have to go with that.  because it may change your life and you may make an incredible impact and find your place in this world.

so that's that.  12 days.  then the next chapter.

Proenza Schouler Resort 2013 - easy, geeky, chic-y

Resort Collections are, without a doubt, the most important collection a designer puts out all year.  Resort collections anymore are sometimes even bigger their their Fall/Spring counterparts.  Resort sits on the store racks the longest, during the holiday season, and designers see the highest sales from their Resort collections.

so is it really shocking that Proenza Schouler's Resort 2013 collection is so amazing?  no.  what's most interesting about this collection is..well...denim.  the wonder boys of New York fashion have shown jeans for the first time, and they're so geeky chic that they wander into the realm of impossibly cool.

they're like a downtown, low slung version of the geek jean instead of the skintight skinnies that most stylish gals stack in their closets.  a relaxed, extra long, stone-washed (or grey wash is available also) kind of dorky pair of jeans that you kind of associate with awkward dads on Saturday afternoons... are somehow updated into cool, slouchy, tailored denim that women will want to wear.  pair it with a neoprene (bonded cotton) tshirt and an oversized boxy tweed jacket, and you're suddenly the chicest bitch on the block.  it's a feat that only the Proenza boys could accomplish.  Resort...denim.  wearable.  chic as shit.  and they didn't stop there.  they did leather pants with messily tucked tees, easy dresses with cutouts, and prints in vibrant colors that make you just want to WEAR IT (no special occasion needed).

it's so easy, right? easy to wear, easy to picture working into your life, easy to imagine working into your wardrobe.  it's the kind of stuff you buy.  it's a stroke of genius.

or maybe i'm just a huge, raging Proenza slut.  i'm fine with that too.  either way, the whole thing is genius.


photos via Proenza Schouler

style file - what i wore!

i love summer, you know?  i love the feel of the sun baking my skin into a warm olive glow, i love the smell of the air in the morning, and i LOVE a great iced latte after a good morning run.  actually i love an iced latte every morning, let's be honest here.  this morning was particularly amazing..i went for a run in my new lululemon romper, the sun was out, it was warm but breezy, i got my latte, and made gluten free pancakes with blackberries for breakfast.  i was like a walking, talking tumblr/instagram post.

my days in manhattan are literally down to less than 21.  it's so weird... to leave this place that has shaped me, made me, shown me who i am.  but i'm also ready for the next adventure too.

CROP TOPS!  skirt, J.Crew Collection.  crop top, ASOS petite.  

romper, Anthropologie.  sadly, this is a little big on me now, it's a few years old, but it's fine for grocery shopping!

ohhh maxi skirts, the best! i also love to pair a feminine, billowy skirt with sneaks. it's a good dichotomy. twin layer chiffon skirt, American Apparel. vintage cotton tank, J.Crew. sneakers, Superga.  

omg omg full stop.  Lululemon made a running onesie.  a romper!  this is all one piece.  this came out on Tuesday and i freaked out at work and i was phone-stalking the SoHo store immediately and raced there after work without delay.  i'm OBSESSED with this.  it's chic and it's fun to run in (and has little built in shorts to keep it decent).  this little one-piece is EVERYTHING.

ALSO...i was LUCKY DUCKY enough to get to see the space ship Enterprise barreling down the Hudson River to it's final resting place at the Intrepid Air/Space Museum.

i was KVELLING.  i literally did spirit fingers when it passed us.  i was so excited.  it was a really serious nerd week for me.  first the Venus Transit, then this, and THEN...every season of "The Universe" is on Netflix so i'm like...sorry guys, my nights are BOOKED.  geek action.

what i've been listening to....

• Bullet & a Target - Citizen Cope
• Stronger - Big Gigantic
• The Truth - Handsome Boy Modeling School
• Rock DJ - Robbie Williams
• She's Always a Woman - Billie Joel
• Goodbye - Apparat
• For me, It's You - Train
• You Made Me Like It - The 1990's

enjoy your weekend, guys!  whip your hair around!

xx

style file - what i wore

what a crazy two weeks!  please forgive my lack of posting - i've been so busy coordinating my move and celebrating my sister's graduation from Harvard, things have been a bit hectic!  not so hectic that i'm still pale though... i've taken full advantage of the beautiful sunshine we've been having and have a pretty sick tan.  and now that we're past Memorial Day... i can wear my whites to show it off!

summer whites & Cersei braids! dress, Anthropologie. flats, Tory Burch.

tip: braids are a great way to beat the heat. they stay in place and keep hair off your neck!

a cooler day in the city. skirt & top, J.Crew.  flats, Tory Burch.

i helped my sister clean out her closet...and scored this great dress!  it's so flattering, the skirt part is jersey and the top is lace.  it's great!  dress, Banana Republic/Stephs' closet.

an old fav.  i love this dress SO much.  it's sexy but not overly so.  the open back plus the deep V..but a full skirt.  sexy but sweet!  dress, Jean Paul Gaultier for Target, self modified (took all the tulle lining out)

summer is heating up and my time in New York is officially winding down!  so weird!  4 weeks from tomorrow is my last day in the city, my move is scheduled, and i'm really looking forward to the 6 weeks off that i'll get to spend with my mom, step-dad, grandparents, and my dog.  time to decompress from the hell that is work before the REAL work begins.  Regression Analysis? yeah..it's coming.

what i've been listening to...

• Free - Graffiti6
• Make it Nasty - Make it Nasty
• Breakfast - Kreayshawn
• The Sweetest Thing - JJ Grey & Mofro
• You Made Me Like It - 1990
• Flower - Moby

have a great weekend and Happy Summer, you guys!!

xx